I came across an internet article awhile ago that supported the ideas behind the show, Sex and the City. This article supported the notion that “if you can watch the amount of sex Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda have without shouting harlot at the screen; if you’re not horrified by the idea of women having professional jobs, living alone, talking about sex, drinking alcohol, having children out of wedlock, experimenting with lesbianism, owning vibrators and all the other stuff they do, then you support a level of freedom for women that is a very long way off for the majority of women in today’s world.”
I thought about these statements in light of my own experiences and the fact that I support true freedom and the best interests for women. I have a professional job. I live with my daughter and have been supporting us since she was one. I had my child out of wedlock and an abortion and I don’t recommend either experience. I cannot possibly recommend that lifestyle because I know the reality of it, not just some Hollywood fantasy of what “freedom” for women is. Their bottom-line promotion is promiscuity = freedom and let me tell you firsthand, that isn’t true freedom.
I tried watching this show and seriously couldn’t stomach even 10 minutes of it. To me, it was unnecessarily vulgar. I don’t think they have great relationships. Come on and give me a break. Every preview for the show includes them sitting around half-drunk at happy hour, fantasizing about shoes and their various sexual encounters.
As a woman, you cannot possibly win with that type of lifestyle. We cannot possibly measure up or do enough or be good enough. It portrays always having to do something to ourselves or work to fit that beauty myth image that is out there – whether it’s through our shoes or if we could just lose that extra pound, have the latest bra or sexy outfit that is going to outdo the other woman. That doesn’t support women or give them a true sense of self just because some producer in Hollywood can make it look as though promiscuity is glamorous and fulfilling and wildly passionate and exciting. But at the end of the day, when the lights are off and the cameras stop rolling, it is an illusion because meaningless sex is, quite frankly, terrible.
There is a beauty myth out there that women from every background and creed buy into and part of it includes dressing up sexual promiscuity as cosmopolitan, sophisticated and world-wise.
It all really concerns me when we have young girls in the entertainment industry quoted in interviews saying this show is a favorite show and I have people in church congregations telling me they only watch it for the fashion, because it’s funny or it’s a good show. Good? What is your definition of good? This is morally sound? Our young Christian girls are watching experimental lesbianism and vulgarity and you want to tell me that is good? I don’t think so. Visually? I think the clothes are the most ridiculous looking I have ever seen. If that’s high fashion, I don’t want any part of it.
What image standards are we holding ourselves up to anyway?
As far as talking about sex, I think we should talk about sex in the church, it isn’t talked about responsibly enough as far as I’m concerned – we are leaving our youth utterly unprepared for the sexual onslaught that we face every day and what the effects on our souls are.
Take Zoey 101 for example and the teenage pregnancy topic that parents had to face after the ending of this popular tween show. I’ll tell you about world-wise because I’ve been through the ropes and I know.
The reality is that in teen pregnancy, you still need to make it through school and make sure you have a decent place to live, have good transportation, hold down a job, collect the WIC check, pay the electric bill, the phone bill, the car registration and inspection. Things take time to happen. It takes time to find some place to live. Do you know you can hardly get an apartment without a credit check? What kind of credit history can you possibly have established at 16?
I haven’t even gotten to STD's yet and the fact is that even if you are on the pill or used a condom, there is still a high risk for both. I know many people who have gotten pregnant while being on the pill. Do you know that there is absolutely no proof that condoms protect you from 6 out of the 8 most common sexually transmitted diseases? You can get an STD just from skin to skin contact from your thigh to your abdomen. Are they talking about that on these shows? Are they doing their homework? Do you know about soul-ties? Or Oxcytocin? Oxcytocin is a chemical that is released in women and will bond us to what we are experiencing; it only occurs when we are having children and when we are having sex. Soul ties - to some random guy who couldn't begin to know what the meaning of true love is - are real! Try getting rid of the hurt when he cheats on you with someone else. It will not erase the hurt to sleep with someone else. That only adds to the hurt. It will not erase the hurt if he doesn't cheat on you, but you break up with your baby's father anyway.
What do you think about yourself after you watch shows like these? Do you compare yourself to these unrealistic, impossible and damaging standards? Even if you know that they aren’t realistic, and you just find them entertaining, know that every time you watch things like this it’s speaking to that internal image of yourself in some way. I’d love to discuss this more and I probably will at some point. For now, I will encourage you to think about the bottom-line messages in popular entertainment. What is the message to you as a woman? What are the accepted standards and how does this reinforce the image you have of yourself on the inside? Have true freedom to know that a lot of shows and magazines out there aren’t doing you any favors as a woman and it’s better for your overall well-being to just turn them off or skip them in the grocery aisle. Try it and see if you might just feel better about yourself!